In class today we debated what is good and what is bad parenting. Many people argued our idea of parenting is very Westernized, influenced by our American culture and institutions. I found some parenting quizzes online that allow people to chose the reaction they would have to their child's behavior, and based upon your reaction in the given scenario, your parenting style is judged. I found it interesting that so many quizzes are out there to tell us what is and what is not acceptable and good parenting. It is sort of disturbing to think that as a society, we are encouraged to attempt to conform to a specific niche of styles.
Take this quiz: http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/quizzes/l/bl_prnt_style.htm
My scores are:
Authoritarian Parent: 2
Permissive Parent: 1
Authoritative Parent: 7
Apparently, I am an authoritative parent, which I agree with to some belief. I think children need structure and discipline, however, I strongly believe discipline is useless if it offers no learning or understanding. However, I disagree with my results, because permissive parents allow their children to schedule and chose their own activities. I think it is especially important to allow teens to take control of their lives, scheduling activities and weekend plans, then monitoring their choices. If parents plan everything for their kids, then how will their children ever learn to manage time and prioritize by themselves? My mom never made me do anything at a specific time and I learned to manage time well. I would go to school, go to practice, then to work, come home and watch some TV, eat dinner, and relax, then do homework until I was finished with it before bed. Without her demanding me to do so, I always did everything on my own. It was my choice, and I benefited or suffered the consequences.
How do you feel about your score, and how do you think your own parents have influence your potential future or current parenting styles?
Other quizzes to "determine your parenting style":
http://www.childrentoday.com/resources/articles/parent.htm
http://www.activeparenting.com/Parents-Parenting_Style_Quiz#anchor2145
-Alison Gammon
According to this quiz I’m an authoritative parent as well. At this point in my life I would have to say that this is very accurate. For the past four summers I have been a counselor at a summer camp and I feel this is where I have developed these “parenting skills”. As a counselor you can’t be permissive when there are that many children involved because the place would just be a madhouse. On the flip side, parents don’t exactly appreciate you yelling at their child for every little thing. So we have to find a constructive place in the middle. We don’t eliminate yelling completely we just save it to be done by the director in extreme circumstances; that way they get to deal with the unhappy parents. I will say that there wasn’t always an answer that fit exactly what I would do in each circumstance on this quiz. I don’t see anything wrong with letting a child throw a tantrum every now and again. However, once they have calmed down you should talk to them about their actions. My parents always seem to talk to me about things when I was younger, but as I got older they pulled back and let me make my decisions. I think your parenting style should change as your kids get older.
ReplyDeleteLauren
Authoritarian Parent: 0
ReplyDeletePermissive Parent: 1
Authoritative Parent: 9
I'd rather be an authoritative parent than a permissive or authoritarian parent, but I think that this quiz is oversimplified. There are definitely more than three types of parents, and often real-life situations are more complicated than the ones presented.
I agree that society shouldn't determine what makes a good parent, everyone has their own values, but certain guidelines can be helpful to prevent abusive parents.
I feel like my parents did the best they could, but didn't really influence how I'll deal with my children.
-Ryan Cuscaden
The quiz also said that I am an authoritative parent. I agree with many of the things, but also think that there are more than just those options when dealing with certain situations. I think it is important to discipline children and give them structure, but to a certain extent. Some children may need their parents to structure everything they do, and some children may need a little more freedom to best succeed in life. I think parenting isn't a set in stone thing. Each family is different, each culture is different, and each child is different. When I become a parent in the future I don't think I will label myself as a certain type of parent. I will hopefully use my best judgement to parent in a way that is most beneficial to my child.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that some things are always wrong (such as abusing a child for a punishment) and some things are always right (such as feeding your child nutritious foods). However, there is always a spectrum.
-Jessie Pietroburgo
Authoritarian Parent: 1
ReplyDeletePermissive Parent: 1
Authoritative Parent: 8
The quiz also says I am an Authoritative parent. I would have to agree with Ryan in the fact that this quiz is very simplified. There is no gray area between the parenting styles whatsoever. I feel good about my parenting score. My parents I would have to say are Authoritative Parents. My parents always say "if there is an open line of communication, then everyone can get along." Parenting should be a matter of give and take. If parents are constantly telling their kids what to do then they will never be able to fend for themselves and take control of their lives later on. On the other hand, if they give their children everything they want then they will become spoiled. My parents balanced the yes and no's. If I was well behaved and responsible my parents loved rewarding me with things; however, if I was not then I would suffer the consequences. My parents have really allowed me to make my own decisions which I think I have benefited from. Similar to Alison, I was always able to manage my time without my parents telling me what to do, and that has paid off in college. If my parents gave me everything I wanted or in turn told me what to do, then I really don't think I would be able to survive being away at college.
^ Amanda
ReplyDelete